God’s OODA Loop for Spiritual Victory: Part 1

 

God’s Spiritual Warfare and the Top Gun winning strategy against migs in Korea have much in common.  The Biblical strategy in Mathew 5: 3-10, known as the Beatitudes, is a real winner whether we apply it in warfare, business, education or family problem-solving.  If we use it within God’s will, God’s power guarantees a win.

It’s no surprise that the OODA loop—Observe, Orient, Decide and Act—was first formulated in the Beatitudes. Just how does this winning wartime strategy work?

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted by Judith Bonner on January 30th, 2011

Filed under Discipleship, Principles, Problem Solving Techniques, Resources, Teens, Tweens | 8 Comments »

Breaking Up is Hard to do

A young man wrote me this:

This weekend was a mess with the 4-year-old being sick… he is sort of okay. He was really coughing up phlem last two nights, I didn’t get much sleep… and to top it all off, _______ and I broke up… AGAIN… yesterday afternoon. I think this is the final time. This time I told the boys –

My 6-year-old was devastated and broke down three times in the half hour between my house and his mother’s.  I told her in a text message so she would know what was up – just a complete worthless weekend.

I don’t know really what to say – after four or five times I just figured it best to at least let the kids know. It’s not any fun but they come first in my life and the sooner they get over it the better I think.  I didn’t want to do the same thing I had with my previous girlfriend – just telling them that she’s unavailable.

Oh well, I hope I didn’t scar my oldest for life.

I said,

These are teachable moments:  teach the boys that friends–much as we would like them to be for a lifetime–may self-select out of our circle because of their vastly different values, or by moving away, or having different interests as they grow up…along with examples of what those differences may be.  Ask the boys for reasons and examples to make it real for them, and keep it all interactiveUse simple sentences, because what I’m telling you is concept-dense.

Everyone is free to make choices, which may be positive or negative in their impact on ourselves or others.

Pain is something God came to earth to heal, and it is caused by sin, a Bible word for selfishness and greed…pray with your eldest that

  1. God will heal his hungry heart, and
  2. that another person will come into your lives who has interest in you all and willingness to sacrifice time and effort for your benefit.
  3. Help him to look for the blessings to come when you submit to God, who allows worldly pain for a purpose.

He is getting old enough to begin defining some important value-laden words such as selfishness (with Bible examples)…Better understanding will shed the light of Christ on that black hole of pain.

Use this format for definitions:  Selfishness is a type of __________ (you fill in the blank:  is it feelings?  attitude resulting in behavior?) with the following characteristics:

  • the selfish person cannot see, admit the importance of  other people’s needs,
  • a selfish person will not  act on behalf of other people’s needs,
  • a selfish person will not consider their feelings, their health or safety, etc.

Read the rest of this entry »

How to Keep Your New Year’s Resolution

Has anyone actually KEPT a new year’s resolution?  I have the answer to that challenge.  My book, Stress-Free Discipline, has an unusual component which retains parental authority but invites deep thinking in and help from your children. 

Ask yourself: am I humble enough to get real help rather than pay a psychologist for years of hidden, fruitless venting? Does my child learn adult skills or accept adult responsibilities that way?

 Or, am I giving my child the habit of ministering to our family for a lifetime of blessing? 

It only takes a month of practice to form a good habit which will serve family needs and help your child for a lifetime.  With Christ and Stress-free Discipline you have the power and the plan to succeed. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted by Judith Bonner on January 1st, 2011

Filed under Problem Solving Techniques | 4 Comments »

Hidden Agenda in Legend of the Guardians: the Owls of Ga’Hoole

What’s a symbol for?  Do people merely react to symbols? Can they recognize how symbols move our feelings, motivating us to act, and then can people thoughtfully consider whether their action is right or not? 

Symbols are a brain short-cut: they bypass thinking

Because the flag of the United States is a symbol of all our history, struggles and victories, we have great feeling when we see it.  Groups of symbols can quietly manipulate our feelings into, for example, buying a car because it is advertised with a beautiful woman who lovingly touches it.  Our subconscious mind thinks, “chick magnet!”  Desire is aroused by a symbolic association, without words and without appeals to logic. Read the rest of this entry »

T.V.: Functional Truth is no Truth at all.

Teaching a child to know the difference between fact and opinion.

Technorati Tags:,,,,,,,,,

When I was six years old I came home to report a fight at school. “I said there IS a Santa Claus because my Mommy told me and my Mommy doesn’t lie!”  If passionate intensity is the measure of truth, I had the truth and knew it.

Child discipline includes discernment training:  what is truth?

Unfortunately truth is not that easy to find.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted by Judith Bonner on September 26th, 2010

Filed under 6 to 11 Year Olds, Discipleship, Parental Duties, Peer Pressures, Politics and Culture, Principles, Teens, Tweens | 4 Comments »

Shiprock Stories: Who Will Build on Your Foundation?

Your action or inaction, planning or failure to plan, all sum up your legacy to your children.

Consider my legacy from my biggest career challenge: teaching delinquents at an alternative high school on the Navajo Reservation. I prayed for weeks and got very frustrated before I was offered that job.  Than I didn’t know if I should accept it. 

I wanted a job where I could express my faith and lead students in meaningful ways.  Should I say “yes?” 

 After three days of especially intensive prayer by my pastor and friends, I dreamed an odd name.: Zerubbabel.

Read the rest of this entry »

The Most Important Person in Your Life?

clip_image001Is your child really the most important person after God and your spouse? How do your priorities line up? If streaming and social media consume four or more hours of your time each day, how are your children going to learn effective life skills?

Effective life skills are those things everyone has to do–to be an effective adult–or pay someone else to do them. The teaching job required for this list of chores takes time and plenty of work.  It is ongoing, frustrating, lasts a lifetime and is worth every minute of your self-sacrifice.

If your child can do those adult chores fast and well, he or she will be happy, according to “happiness research.” How many of the following adult chores are you planning to teach your child…or how many of them have you mastered? Here’s a list of adult responsibilities which—if you are skillful—will make you a happy adult.  Unplug from the TV and plug into life.

Parent’s Duty and Skill List (Frame this and hang it in plain sight.  Review it often with your child when you assign chores to yourself and children.) Read the rest of this entry »

Family Life: Solitary Independent Play?

Do you have an optimal family life?  What is good by itself may be the enemy of what is best or optimal. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted by Judith Bonner on July 26th, 2010

Filed under 6 to 11 Year Olds, Politics and Culture, Principles, Problem Solving Techniques, Teens, Tweens | 27 Comments »

What attracts a good man?

A young friend just e-mailed me a question about the link between fashion and sexual attractiveness in finding a husband.  Here’s my answer:  I wouldn’t know about the relationship between fashion and romance, but that doesn’t prevent me from having an opinion! It’s your choice, of course.

Personally, I think men are genetically “wired” to respond to a woman’s body (such as not fat and preferably in good shape) as well as other characteristics not related to color of clothing. Energy stemming from good health, for example, is sexy.

Black clothing, however, in one culture will connote one thing (mourning), and the opposite in another culture (joy).  What culture are you aiming for?

Black is the preference of downtown business people and, in general, more conservative people, in my opinion.  If you’re aiming for a conservative (low risk-taking) man, you would do well to wear it, along with modest styling and longer hemline and higher bustline. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted by Judith Bonner on May 29th, 2010

Filed under Body Language, Peer Pressures, Principles, Problem Solving Techniques | 31 Comments »

Christ-centered Relationship-building

Selfishness is worth another look when I have time, but here’s advice I just posted to my son, who is looking for a mate.

Selfishness is the default answer for all humans.  We don’t have to remain there.  A self-centered relationship or a performance-based relationship will not bring long-term happiness.  A Christ-centered relationship will last the long journey of joyful marriage. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted by Judith Bonner on May 28th, 2010

Filed under Anger Management, Conflicts, Principles, Problem Solving Techniques | 6 Comments »