Family Life: Solitary Independent Play?

Do you have an optimal family life?  What is good by itself may be the enemy of what is best or optimal.

My husband and I have foster-parented our 9 year-old granddaughter for eight months, learning a lot about all of us in the process.  Now her mother has joined us while she builds a new life for them both.

The school has informed us that–while our granddaughter is in the gifted and talented program with test scores above average–she lacks personal knowledge of real-world facts.  She is immersed–given the chance–in streaming media four to six hours daily.  So are her mother and grandfather.

She is addicted to fiction:  grandpa favors the news and military history.  Dinner is fragmented by different time schedules or is eaten in silence in front of the TV.

All of us are engaged in solitary independent play.  Our granddaughter has substituted media for learned facts and social interactions, placing herself at a disadvantage in the real world.  Grandpa learned his social skills on schedule but does not exercise them with family to build team spirit when he is focused on the news at dinnertime and movies afterward.  All of us are engaged in solitary independent play.

Solitary independent play is what happens with toddlers in a sandbox.  They do “their own thing” without communication, commitment, cooperation or planning.  They continue in that mode until they are taught and required to behave differently.

Is this your family?  How will your child learn essential life skills when the media consumes six hours per day of teaching time?  When will you commit to leadership in teaching essential life skills?  Check out “The Most Important Person in Your Life” post to see what you have missed by your lack of planning.

This entry was posted on Monday, July 26th, 2010 at 7:26 pm and is filed under 6 to 11 Year Olds, Politics and Culture, Principles, Problem Solving Techniques, Teens, Tweens. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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