How to Make Positive changes: Problem One
The problem is that emotional upheaval between parents prevents them from changing or improving their discipline styles.
Feelings are playing ping-pong with their thoughts. Feelings are in the driver’s seat, not in the back seat. Feelings are designed by God to support and motivate action after it has been thought through.
After thinking through the problem, getting useful ideas into your head does not mean you have mastered the techniques which save you stress while enhancing your family interdependence.
What does it take to master stress-free techniques?
It takes getting help and practice, using personal reflection and supportive group activities.
Why do people resist change?
Kotter and Schlesinger (Kotter & Schlesinger, 2008, 130) offer four basic reasons that people resist change and several methods for overcoming resistance in their article illustrating change in the world of management. The most common reasons they cite for resistance are
- A desire to keep something of value
- Misunderstanding of the change and its complications
- A belief that the change does not make sense
- A low tolerance for change in general (Kotter & Schlesinger, 2008, 131).
If you write down your reasons for not wanting to change your child discipline, you will probably find out that the above four reasons keep reappearing on your list. Are you willing to look carefully at your reasoning? Are you uncomfortable enough to make positive change?
How can people overcome their resistance to change?
Couples, like the managers cited in the article, can determine which form of resistance they are facing and choose to overcome it with a number of techniques.
Some of those techniques are: education and communication, participation and involvement, facilitation and support, negotiation and agreement.
This research, in the hands of a sensitive and experienced mentor or counselor, can help guide couples to gradually gain skill in making functional changes in their family dynamic.
