Mellowing out Mad Max (Maxine) #2
Technorati Tags: hatred,aggression,revenge,criticism,defensiveness,boredom
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I really could not understand Max’s hatred. He hated Reading, Blacks, Native Americans, Jews, and Catholics and a long list of other things. He had poor skills and no patience. He was only fifteen.
He actually had no interests but hate. None. As a public school teacher, I knew it was a mistake to ignore, reject or force forgiveness on Max. I chose to accept him as he was. He had no friends, after all. Other students ignored him.
This is beyond negative. Perhaps your child has shown aggressive, anti-rule behavior.
Her revenge, grudges and criticism have given her power over others.
She seems unapproachable. While she has some sympathetic followers, she creates constant tension. She is unsuccessful and defensive in ways that hinder growth. Your son may do all of the above in a defensive, loner way.
Perhaps you worry about your child’s continuous and total lack of interest in activities. Your child cannot work well with others, and your usual discipline techniques are not effective.
You are angry, on edge and on guard, but must act in love if you want results.
Professional counseling is part of your plan. Stress Free Discipline is another part. Used consistently, Stress Free Discipline provides the acceptance, pain relief, trust and status these youth need.
Hate is distilled pain. A small hurt can become a wildfire of hate.
Never ignore it, react personally, judge or trivialize your child’s problem. Never discuss him with other children or think you know how he or she feels. Consider how God treats our bad temper, greed, power grabs, and pride.
Counseling is unavoidable. Choose wisely. What you have been doing until now needs an upgrade. It has not been working.
A good counselor will take one or two hours to test all family members for anger management styles, personality differences, communication styles and problem solving techniques.
With those tools you and your family can work through the tough times. Stop your entertainments and time wasters and focus on healing work.
Memorize the tools. Learn to use them. Get help when times are tough. Sacrifice time and effort for teamwork and lifelong love relationships. You do not have forever. Every day that passes makes healing more difficult.
