Raising a Cheater
It is easy to do. Raise a child to want success without teaching him or her the skills that bring success.
Make everything easy for your son or daughter. Do chores for them rather than teaching them to do for themselves. Serve them without asking them to serve the family. Let them watch four hours of media every night, the American average.
Those hours are lowering their attention span, making them less able to compete in the world marketplace, and reducing their ability to think logically. (Check out Caleb Crain, the New Yorker Critic at Large ,Twilight of the Books.) This is a recipe for failure. Cut off your child’s thinking skills at the knees by plugging them into media for hours each day.
That will take away self confidence so your daughter does not believe she can achieve without cheating.
Feed your son junk food or let him skip breakfast. Let him go to bed any time, even though the Harvard Sleep Study says children through age eighteen need eight or nine hours of sleep per night in order to learn. (Check out Matthew Walker, October 17, 2002 Harvard University Gazette Archives. Also see Beth Potier, December 11, 2003 of the Harvard University Gazette Archives.)
Intimidate your daughter by criticizing her weak first steps so she will not risk running. Take away your son’s responsibility by saying the teacher is picking on him rather than holding him accountable. Let the children have after school jobs and cars even though their grades are suffering.
Cheating in college is on the rise. The pressure to succeed is great. Give your child tips on how to steal essays from friends, frat brothers and the internet.
If you want a child to cheat, make success everything, the learning process nothing.
Teach your child that he or she is just an accident of nature, so moral behavior is no longer a useful choice. (See Crosswalk.com, Chuck Colson’s Breakpoint 2/29/08)
Your Challenge
Be close to your child. Know his or her attitudes and actions. If a teacher says your child has cheated, use the “worried-concerned” approach. Express your doubts and disappointments quietly and privately, not in front of siblings or friends. Remember that to your child, success is everything. Say, “Son, I don’t think you’re being completely honest on that test.”
Punishment for cheating may or may not help your child.
Remember that your goal is to support the right behavior, preventing a character defect from developing into further lies and loss.
If you want to change the cheating behavior, punishment might only make your child determined not to get caught.
Use Adam and Eve as examples. Adam and Eve appear to be sorry for being caught, not for their own responsibility in their fall. Your honesty as you talk with your child will encourage changes. Shallow, knee-jerk punishment may reinforce a failing, cheating cycle. Decide what you want to happen.
Accusing your child bluntly, ignoring the problem, and emotional reactions will reinforce a failing, cheating cycle.
Instead, realize that needs are not being met. Help your child learn the skills and earn success. Help her assert herself or himself and be responsible in every aspect of family and school life.
Walk with your children through their mine field of uncertainties until they can navigate on their own.
Make sure they are eating right and drinking enough and getting enough rest. The Harvard studies prove that learning is a lot more effective when you sleep on it. Chuck Colson’s research shows that a strong moral foundation prevents cheating.
