Teaching Money Management / Crime Prevention
Technorati Tags: jail,ministry,rules,consequences,money management,boundaries.
When my sons were pre-teens we had a small jail visitation ministry and they saw first-hand the consequences of writing a lot of bad checks. This experience was very motivational for them, and part of training in conscientiousness (a key element, according to research by the U. of California at Riverside, U>C> Berkeley Wellness Letter, Feb. 2004, in long and healthy life).
Consider involving children early in the process of helping you write checks and balance the checkbook. A second grader can help you add and subtract. Grocery shopping is a time you can give cash for your child to pick his or her favorite fruit and vegetables. As soon as computer skills become important to your child, have them watch you with QuickBooks, then watch them as they help you enter expenses, sorting out tax items as you go.
A three or four year-old can learn how you choose what you buy at the market. Soft fruit, green fruit–teaching the gentle squeeze helps with defining what is O.K. for pet handling as well as fruit choices. Unit pricing on the shelf tags can be a learning experience for older children. As soon as children can understand what money is, they can use a dollar to find a toy at the 99-cent store.
The idea is to help them understand real world limits and luxuries. Real Consequences are essential. You don’t have to grow your own food, but you do have to afford it.
When one of my sons was five years old, he scratched his name all over the outside wooden paneling of the preschool building. I explained to him that since I could not pay a painter and had the skills, my consequence was to refinish that wall.
His consequence was to pay a fine: his weekly “donut money” (routinely given by a sweet church senior). He paid in person to the principal for three weeks.
While the principal said it wasn’t necessary, it did teach a well-remembered lesson. When he was six and bowed in a plate glass window by leaning on it, all I had to say was “WOW! Look at that window bend. If it breaks, that is A LOT of donut money.” He jumped away from the window like it was a hot griddle.
Children can remind you to set aside savings. Play “You be the parent and I’ll be the child” to test learning. Teens can help you to prioritize your spending.
You model and teach them important concepts. What is important long term that needs to be saved for? What sacrifices now will make a big difference later? They master the concepts through practice. They minister the concepts through service to you. Remember that learning needs reinforcement to become mastery. Sacrifice is part of love.
Money management concepts are crammed into one or two classroom hours of Senior Economics class in public schools. Sacrifice and love are not taught there. An economic survey course is useless when students need many hours of practice and discussion. Most of them won’t absorb enough financial vocabulary and basic ideas at school to prepare them for success in life. You are responsible for teaching money management.
Buy Ron and Judy Blue and Jeremy White’s book: Your Kids Can Master Their Money by Tyndale House Publishers.
My book just touches the surface of what can be done to give children financial skills.
Be aware also that many states impose severe consequences on parents for their child’s misbehavior.
For example, your state may fine or jail you for letting your child participate in theft or gangs. Clearly you want to establish the kinds of bonds with your child which will prevent their need for re-parenting by gangs.
In many states you can be evicted from public housing if your child is using or selling drugs. Laws constantly change, so it is good to educate yourself on juvenile law.
Prevention of criminal behavior depends on showing your child the consequences of not following the rules. Rule-following behavior is something you teach early in life. Your three year old needs consequences every time he or she disobeys a rule. Rules need to be simple and posted in print.
I recommend a family trip to the courthouse, jail or D.A.’s office. It is very educational for all of you. Interview the D.A. Ask about common errors teens make that get them in trouble with the law. Your children will never forget a real lesson.
Check out the American Bar Association’s Division for Public Education (www.abanet.org).
Crime prevention is all about consistent consequences. One way to teach consequences is to have a mini-jail ministry.
April 15th, 2010 at 4:24 pm
Mao, I’m having some technical difficulty, but if you check out the RSS feeds you should have an e-mail when I do a new post. Tell me, what are your favorite topics?
April 26th, 2010 at 7:19 pm
Marvellous post – and good domain by the way!
April 30th, 2010 at 6:24 am
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April 30th, 2010 at 8:15 am
Hi Thea,
My hope is that people will find my work useful to relieve their stress and build happy families. Thanks for your positive input.
May 20th, 2010 at 10:26 pm
Hmm that was weird, my comment got eaten. Anyway I wanted to say that it is good to know that someone else also mentioned this as I had trouble finding the same info elsewhere. This was the first location that told me the answer. Many thanks.
May 20th, 2010 at 11:37 pm
Brilliant post, nicely done. And thanks for mentioning all that info – you have introduced to me to three new blogs and I love them all! Cheers
June 25th, 2010 at 9:21 pm
Thanks a lot for this, I appreciate the info
June 27th, 2010 at 5:40 am
I do not accept every one of the factors outlined by you, but you do make a strong case!
June 28th, 2010 at 11:13 am
Teach me by detailing what you do not accept…
July 2nd, 2010 at 8:51 pm
Here’s a comment. Great advice =) Thanks
July 7th, 2010 at 7:01 am
You make quite a few logical points within your article and would definitely agree with most experts.
July 22nd, 2010 at 6:12 am
Just checking out your post on my new Google Phone , and I wanted to check if it would allow me comment or if it was going to me go to a desktop to do that. Ill check back later to see if it worked.
July 22nd, 2010 at 9:23 am
You’re on target. What’s your comment?
August 14th, 2010 at 4:02 am
Excellent read, I just passed this onto a colleague who was doing just a little research on that. And he really purchased me lunch because I discovered it for him smile So allow me rephrase that: Thanks for lunch!
August 17th, 2010 at 9:14 am
Alonzo, I deleted your sales pitch because this blog is not designed for the purpose of selling outside articles. I can’t take the time to research your validity, and therefore can’t post your sales pitch. Good luck with your get-rich-quick blogging.
August 22nd, 2010 at 3:59 pm
Dear Smokeless Cigarette,
Your response is so confusing that it makes no sense. Do you speak English as a Second Language? If you were to re-post in a coherent and specifically relevant way I would approve the post.
August 25th, 2010 at 8:02 am
Intriguing , I am curious what the statistics are on your first point there…
August 26th, 2010 at 10:40 am
Thx for your interest. I have updated the post to reflect the source of my statistics…U.C. Berkeley Wellness Letter, February, 2004.
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September 1st, 2010 at 1:01 am
Wow, this was a really quality post. In theory I’d like to write like this too – taking time and real effort to make a great post… but what can I say… I procrastinate alot and in no way seem to get something done.
September 1st, 2010 at 7:43 am
About priorities:
Tas, I’m just like you. The world is “at-you-at-you-at-you” like an insistent little kid: it’s the tyranny of the urgent–but not necessarily important–stuff. Here’s something I’ve found useful:
This idea earned an efficiency expert $25,000 from Charles Schwab, President of U.S. Steel: “Do the most important thing first, and keep doing it until you are finished or can go no further. Then do the next most important thing.”
Even if you only get work done on two priorities, they will increase your effectiveness about 80%.
September 3rd, 2010 at 10:24 am
Giving a blog talk to beginner bloggers in the not-too-distant future, I’ll be pointing people in the direction of your efforts. Nicely put together dude.