Fishing—For Responsibility
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Five delinquent teens and I plunged through dry sage and scrub oak for at least a mile on a never-maintained jeep trail.
We came at last to a fantastic fishing spot on Navajo lake.
It was their lake, they said, but Anglos took it over.
An expensive-looking white boat was anchored in the glimmering water of the silent cove. This tiny Eden greatly surpassed the sun-baked, well-trodden areas we passed up in order to get there.
The water was Spring-water high with boulders strewn artfully around the edge: just enough climbing places, just enough level trail, just right reeds and grasses.
It was an artist’s paradise, a child’s dream, a teen’s wonder.
We left my scratched up Ford high on a bluff and scrambled down with three borrowed poles and picnic supplies.
As we fished and then ate hot dogs roasted by the lake a teen said, “I’ve never had this much fun without being high.”
They had never gone fishing. I had to teach them all the basics. Three borrowed poles were passed between the five of them. One made his own pole from fish line and a stick. He caught a fish to everyone’s surprise.
About three in the afternoon, enthusiasm wore thin and feet slowed down. One of the boys set a pole on the boulder and it slid into the lake. I told “Yazzi”[1] to dive for it, since it was a $120 pole and he was responsible. He set his shirt by the coals of the fire and tried to get it, but failed. Then his friends also tried but the pole had sunken out of sight. When the sun began to set we had to give up trying, dry off and drag ourselves up the rocky trail to the car.
Neither Yazzi nor his parents ever paid for the fishing pole. They just didn’t feel like being responsible. I paid for it, since I had borrowed it from another teacher.
Here’s your challenge
If you do not teach the basics, like how to be responsible for their own behavior and how to live up to their promises, your children will end up being re-parented by someone else. Maybe it will be a gang. Or a boy who promises your girl love without work, romance without responsibility. Maybe it will be a coach who imposes down time for poor grades. This story is a picture for parents who end up paying for military school, probationary measures, and other shame, because they did not teach responsibility.
How do you teach responsibility? Impose consequences every time your child breaks a rule. Live up to all your promises. Ask forgiveness for the few times you fail to be a good example. Above all, be consistent. Rules for your child should never change between husband and wife, caregiver and grandparent. Do not tell me you cannot do this. If you can eat regular meals you can be consistent in discipline. It’s your feelings that betray you if you say, “I can’t.” Be accountable for every day with a prayer partner or your spouse. It’s up to you.
[1] Not his real name
