Expensive Storage and Greedy Children
Technorati Tags: greed,competition,power struggles,distraction,complications
Have you ever noticed how you get overwhelmed and poor when you are not paying attention? Part of stress free discipline is simplifying and focusing your life.
I’m angry at myself for spending $3,000 on storage for family photos, old papers, projects I’ll never do, and stuff belonging to other people. Why accept stress from unfinished business?
It reminds me of the greedy child who sucks out more and more privileges when you are tired or distracted. Maybe those distractions are your media time. Maybe you do not feel like paying attention. Maybe you’re not getting enough rest.
At some point you realize that your distractions have complicated your life by locking you into expensive storage while ignoring current business.
You cannot find money for what you would rather do because it is tied up in storage. You cannot deal with today because you are busy dusting off or paying off yesterday. In personal terms, you’re constantly pushed past your patience into an unhappy relationship with your greedy child.
When you are distracted, you give your child the nod, and he or she gains power over your time. You give in to make the problem go away but it becomes a monster instead.
You realize that you do not like yourself or your child. Arguments, nasty competition and power grabs have become routine. Other children are hurt by the greedy taking behavior of the Prince or Princess. It’s all unfair.
Pushy behavior gets extra privileges for a greedy child. He or she wins, and even assumes that greed, power and status make him or her attractive!
First, find out if teachers and others are having the same problems you are.
If the pushy Prince needs it, do a conference with your child and affected adults. Put all responsibility for immature behavior on your child.
Explain that the secret of maturity is not grabbing things, getting older, or being experienced. The secret is growing out of the grabbing phase into the giving habit.
Your pushy Princess must stop demanding special menus rather than what everyone else is eating. Beginning at age three, if you give in,she will build her “success” with you into a lifetime of eating disorders.
Nobody can afford the consequences of letting greed go or be justified.
God’s word says “Even a child is judged by his works.” (Proverbs 20:11)
You are the judge. Do not think God will let you escape your duty. This is not a time for modeling non-judgmental behavior.
Here’s your challenge
Remember the difference between discernment and judgment (or critical thinking.) Critical thinking is the highest order of thinking skill. It is essential for your own well being. You need to teach it to your child and to yourself, if need be.
You are responsible. Remember Eli (I Samuel 2:22-25ff). He was punished by God for not disciplining his sons.
God holds you accountable for your child’s bad behavior just as the law does.
You can still be kind, speaking the truth in love.
Begin by defining and exploring what greed is.
Greed is a type of attitude or behavior which demands special privileges for one person at the expense of others, grasping things that others need or own…etc.
Once you have a definition everyone understands, apply it to simple situations which make the meaning of the term very clear. A greedy person buys a dozen donuts and eats them all himself. A greedy woman may control others by dominating their time with demands, complaints, and manipulation. A greedy child will not share with others even when she has had a toy to herself for a reasonable time.
Then ask your child to define the opposite of greed. Find examples, then reward any small unselfish action in your child.
You could do something as simple as give three cheers for good manners. “Hip, hip, HOORAY! Hip, hip, HOORAY! Hip, hip, HOORAY!” Recognition, clapping and enthusiasm go a long way toward inspiring a child.
Stress Free Discipline rewards every good choice and gives grace on top of that. It also recognizes achievement, services, manners, and family friendly thinking. If your Prince is doing better at school, Stress Free Discipline provides a format for following through on and rewarding those good choices.
Do be firm, consistent, and strong. Every poor choice must have consequences.
Remember, it is gentle abrasion that breaks a cliff into a pebble. Your child can wear you down by endless small demands if you are not strong, firm, and consistent. Everyone will be stressed by your weakness.
–By the way, how is your relationship with God? Have distractions abraded your love down to a small memory? Where do you fit in the Parent-Child greed picture?
Is your love affair with God in expensive storage? Pay attention.
