Sibling Conflict Management
Do you have a child who demands all of your attention, defying you and picking on other siblings? This child usually asks unnecessary questions, trying as well to gain attention by saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. He or she is usually loud and disorganized, often late getting things done at school and at home. Everyone else tends to put this child down and avoid him/her. You are angry. Brothers or sisters are angry. Your focus is often broken.
This child does everything imaginable to let you know that he (any pronoun includes both sexes) exists. He is trying to prove himself, perhaps in an effort to “belong.” He may have a basic need to learn better social or academic skills!
Stress Free Discipline allows you to reward the attention-getter with skill-building activities with you. He receives double attention: points and praise at the time of his performance, and rewards time in educational activities later.
It’s a mistake to exclude this obnoxious one or assume she doesn’t have the skills to do the job. Listen carefully to what she is saying.
Don’t try to figure out what kinds of situations cause her to misbehave or think you can generalize and understand her thinking. Do not try to keep her from getting any attention! We want plenty of positive attention.
Her message is very important. She needs success in something.
- Give her an important role of responsibility or leadership.
- Take time for listening to find out what she really feels. BE CONSISTENT, KIND, POLITE AND FIRM.
- Keep that chart and those points going without fail.
- Monitor your body language.
- Make a special effort to recognize all your children individually with one on one time daily.
Just before bedtime, when they’re relaxed from their warm bath, talk a few minutes quietly about what made the day positive. Never make your child feel anxious, or the behavior will become worse.
